Nina & Cancer

Jag fick ”träffa” Nina för första gången när sjukvårdsupplysnings sidan skulle lanseras. Nina är en av dem modiga cancer patienterna som berättar sin historia. Filmen om hur hon rakade håret har gått rakt in i mitt hjärta. Hennes mod, hennes rädsla att lämna sin familj och sin underbara bebis, hennes otroliga man, hans kärleksfull stöd när hon behöver honom som värst.

Jag fick träffa Nina i sitt hem och bidra med vårt projekt så att hon skulle få bilder som skulle påminna henne av den underbaraste familj hon har. Och den kärleken som omringar henne.

Här kan ni kolla på den vackra filmen:  När håret försvinner

Elinapril 12, 2011 - 6:54 f m

Finaste Nina, Kent och Leon!

Vilka foton! Blir varm i hjärtat när jag tittar på dem. Så fina!

Stora kramar från Elin

Sara Natt och Dagapril 8, 2011 - 7:35 f m

Hur vacker kan sorg bli?

Träffade Kent igår som berättade om projektet. Stort!

Livet kan inte vänta men det gör ont.


Hej från Sara

Niklas & CP skadan

When I heard about Kristin and Patrik’s endless nights at the hospital with Niklas and their brave fight to learn every day how to live with this condition, my heart was touched. Niklas wasn’t supposed to have survived the blood intoxication that took over his body when he was just a little baby. He is now ten years old.

And by looking at his pictures, I really feel my beliefs confirmed: only a very special family can take care of a very special boy.

Thank you, Kristin and Patrik, and Niklas’ brothers, who let me capture your brave fight on camera! You are an inspiration to all of us!

Linda & inflammatorisk bröstcancer


I wake up, 2 am, sweating, breathing heavily. I sit up, try to focus with my blurry eyes, I look around. I’m in my bed. Noah is, as always, sleeping on our feet, just like a little cat, almost invisible. Nils is snoring lightly. I sigh in relief – it was only a dream. My plane didn’t crash. I wasn’t stabbed by a scary-looking guy in a dark alley. A wild raging tiger didn’t eat me alive in the jungle. And I don’t have cancer. And then I go back to sleep, peaceful in the knowledge my life is as it should be: just perfect.

Since I’ve started to shoot for the new cancer information page, I’ve been having these nightmares. That I’m dying. I don’t know if it’s the not believing I can be one of the lucky ones that get to live a happy life for ever after, or if it’s just the pure fear of death. Of not being here anymore. My love for life has always made me afraid of dying. I don’t want to leave the party. I want to stay. Forever. Then I started my thing for vampires, and angels, and rebirth therapy. Everything worked out as I planned until l I had children. Then the fear came back. Stronger than ever.

It might have been all of that that brought me to working with my Essence Vitae project. I didn’t want to be one of those who starts with a project after a traumatic personal experience or a near traumatic death in the family. I wanted to help out. Because I could. Because I was one of the lucky ones and I felt, awkwardly enough, not worthy. Why me? Why would little me have all this luck?  Maybe I could  ”pre-thank”  the universe, I wanted to help out. And by helping out, I ended up understanding that I was the one who needed help. I ended up meeting all these amazing people with amazing stories and amazing strength. People who teach me, not only how to appreciate even more what I have, but how not to fear what I’m afraid of.

Life is here, life is what it is, and we have a choice:

we can either accept our fate and live with it the best way we can, or just give up and make other peoples’ lives miserable in the process.

Linda is one of these life-teachers. Mother-of-four Linda. Invincible Linda. Linda who has Breast Cancer. I read about her when I was doing a little research before shooting Lotta Gray. A few things touch me like a lighting bolt striking a single tree in the desert. And when that happens, I know I have to listen.I felt the urge of running to her and just giving her a warm long hug. For her will-power. For her strength. For her warm smile. For sending me a electric current of life that just pierced my soul.

A few days later I got on a train and left for Habo. I didn’t care that it was in the middle of my high-season. I didn’t care that I had tons of deadlines. I just had to go. I turned off my phone, turned on my computer on Spotify and just left. I’m thankful I did it and thankful I got to spend a couple of hours with Linda and her beautiful family. It turned out to be absolutely magic weather which gave us the most beautiful light we could wish for. And today Linda got the prize as the year’s Mama’s Hero. Yes, Linda. You are a hero. You are a hero for having the power of sharing your life with us everyday, as well as your fears and moments of joy. Even though you are fighting a dragon with a smile.

I do hope your smile will show the dragon its power! Thanks for sharing a few hours of your life with me. Here you have my ode to Linda. Tons of love waves to you and congratulations on your prize, nobody could deserve it more.

J.GILENMYR » En hyllning.april 16, 2011 - 7:47 f m

[…] lånade från  16 Apr This entry was written by Gilenmyr jessica, posted on 16/04/2011 at 09:47, filed under […]

Emma Roosapril 2, 2011 - 10:57 f m

Det är så oerhört vackert! Jag läser och gråter. Ser bilderna och tänker att vad skönt att familjen har kvar de fina bilderna du tog. När barnen blir äldre kan de få se bilder på sig själva och sin mamma tillsammans och få det fina och all kärlek. Det du gör Julia är stort och vackert på alla sätt! Kram

Hugo & Lissencefali


A friend of mine, the great writer Hillevi Wahl, touched my heart when she talked about Hugos dads’ letter to his son. My heart felt with theirs and I just had to send them an email immediately and offer them any help I could give them: taking warm pictures of their beautiful family, that might help them cope with those days when positivism is not the first thing on the daily list.

My words are not good enough to describe Hugos life, and his out-of-this-world wonderful parents.

So I’ll leave you with the pictures I took last week and the link to their own blog:

Hugos family is a proud part of the Essencevitae Project. Please check our page for more details about it

The Essencevitae Project


Everything is Borrowed


I’m so touched by all the nice emails and comments to our Essencevitae Project, that I’d like to share this with you –  the lyrics of a song I got sent to me yesterday by my husband. And my three strongest reasons to live!

I think they say everything (both lyrics and these three little cute things!)

Have a nice weekend!

”Everything Is Borrowed”

The Streets

This is my hour, I’m never going to bed.

The sky is still black, but begs to be red.

I just put my book down, but it begs to be read

I’m not nod, I’m not napper, never rest my head.

Some days I feel I’m getting smaller and smaller,

But some nights, I seem to grow taller and taller.

And we keep shrinkin’ and shrinkin’ but this will not finish.

You’re never nothing, if you didn’t disappear.

Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they change it.

Just when I’m loving life, it seems to start raining.

I pulled the sail safe switch, sea sail and I’m into the stars.

I love the rain out my skies. The sky’s now red, my eyes reflect jets.

Smiling at this blessing, this life is the best.

I came to this world with nothing

And I leave with nothing but love

Everything else is just borrowed

I want to notice chances I’ve passed without notice

I want to see details previously veiled.

I want to grab that chance, carry it home

So I can marry and know

That I noticed every chance

That I could have passed without notice

I saw details that to all were veiled.

And I grabbed those chances, carried them home

And then I’ll have had it with roaming

I came to this world with nothing

And I leave with nothing but love

Everything else is just borrowed

I want to speak every cliché but tweak if I’ve seen change

In new way it could be said.